I have felt fractured, broken, the last few days. I was fine getting through almost five weeks of “social distancing”. I was doing my part and felt proud of myself. And then things shifted as people without masks nearby were protesting the COVID-19 stay-at-home policy. I felt violated and wondered if all my time alone had been wasted. And I couldn’t help feeling that as a society, we were surely screwed.

In these long weeks, I’ve been listening, reading, and thinking. For some reason, I’ve been fascinated by circles. Excess time gives a human being numerous opportunities to notice.

Here is a grouping from my bathroom.

Maybe I’m jealous of circles because they are so perfect, and as a human being, I will never ever be that. Perhaps I’m drawn to them because they are complete in themselves. They can be symbols that provide rich understanding for hurried minds and prompt shorthand for the unconscious.

A long time ago, I found a wholeness in the writings of author Karen Armstrong, a former Catholic nun who wrote about her quest to understand all religions. She came to the conclusion that they all share a common doctrine, The Golden Rule.

These weeks in isolation have given me the time to reconnect with the hundreds of books I have collected over my many years. They are mostly nonfiction, my treasure troves of unsolved mysteries and elusive information. I came across a book on Carl Jung, an early 20th-century psychologist, who coined the phrase “collective consciousness”. He believed that we not only inherit genetic physical characteristics from our ancestors but also unconscious patterns.

What would Carl Jung think of this moment in history? His theory of collective consciousness has become a reality as we all face COVID-19 and the potential collapse of economic systems. As a global population, we now share a single focus and a unified consciousness.

Yesterday, one of our nation’s leaders was asked what the new normal would look like. He answered by saying we need to change our vocabulary. He stated that what we knew as usual is gone; it is time to reimagine the kind of society and future we want to create, and how each one of us can become a better, reimaged version of ourselves.

This leader inspired me. There has been a rebirth of the old me. I’m cooking and baking once again. And I’ve started planting a garden. I have plans to really work on my backyard and up my daily exercise. Soon I will go up to my art room and paint again. I love to be alone, but I’ve come to realize the priceless value of my wonderful friends. I will make more connections when this is over. In this time of slow-paced quiet, I’m finding parts of myself again.

Carl Jung also wrote about “individuation”, the process of becoming one’s true self. He painted mandalas, which are a practice found in many cultures over the centuries. Jung believed that they were symbols of wholeness in the self. He also saw their creation as a peaceful meditation.

I have been doing them, printing them off the internet. I love them because no matter what colors or patterns I choose, they are all beautiful when I complete them.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been creating mandalas by starting in the center and working outward. Some people recommend working from the outside and moving inward. That’s what’s nice about mandalas, circles, and life: it doesn’t matter. It’s all about never giving up and striving to create something new.

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