My Imaginary (and Real) Friends

Due to family dynamics and my shyness, I spent a lot of time alone during my childhood. But life is about adaptability, and I came to enjoy my own company. I always found things to do, to see, to ponder. When my life became too overwhelming, I would ride my bike through my neighbor’s orchard, across a broad field, and visit an old friend, a tall maple tree that for some reason was left standing in the acres that had been cleared so long ago for crops. Like me the the tree was alone, but it was so much more beautiful and majestic in its solitude, happy to just be. It became known as my “thinking tree” where I sat under its sturdiness and tried to find peace and some of my own strength.

There was also a woods near my home. My parents used fear to keep us safe and told us that terrible things would happen to us if we wandered there. I remember that when I was about six or seven, I wished that I could own a gun, a very strange thing for a little girl to want in the 1950s. I wanted to know the trees that lived in the cool darkness. I’m proud to say that with determination and no gun, I eventually came to know them and added them to my group of acquaintances.

I am no longer shy, and I have evolved into quite a people person, but I still enjoy my own company and the company of trees. Last week, I returned from a camping trip near Lake Placid in my beloved Adirondack Mountains. I spent six days tenting. A friend who loves creature comforts wanted to know what I could possibly do for six days without a hotel bed and with only a gas camp stove to cook on. Here is my answer.

I set up a well-organized, cozy campsite. It took some time, but I made myself a very comfortable home on my site at the KOA in Lake Placid. I always have flowers on the tablecloth that covers the picnic table provided.

I caught up on my reading. In 2020, I’m taking an 80-day solo road trip through the southern states, going as far as New Orleans, and writing about it on my blog. Every morning at the campsite, I made coffee, built a fire, and delved into two American history books: These Truths by Jill Lepore and The Half Has Never Been Told by Edward Baptist. I was brought to tears as I read about the horrors of slavery in our country.

I visited the Adirondack Wildlife Refuge and Rehab Center in Wilmington. One of my sorority sisters who lives in the area told me about this place, which was not far from my campgrounds. I was thrilled to see so many animals that I had come to know and love, especially a red-tailed hawk, which I have chosen as my totem.

I listened to the whisper of the pines. They make their own mysterious sound and seem to inspire me. As I looked up into their lacey beauty, the clutter of my thoughts and feelings seemed to sort themselves out into words and ideas that I might be able to write about in my blog.

I figured out a way to go for ice cream even though it was the day of the Iron Man races and all southbound lanes were closed near my campgrounds. Thanks to a good sense of direction and a little luck, I managed to get my treat and then returned to my site by taking back roads.

I had the same bird visit me each day. I soon learned that it didn’t like bits of hot dog rolls but loved whole wheat crackers.

I thought of my dad and how he had instilled in me the love of trees and nature. He took my family to Canada to show us where he liked to fish, and he brought us to Wilmington Notch Campground long ago when the white birches there were still alive. When we moved to a new house, one of the first things he did was plant trees all over our property.

Decades later, I realized that, through his example, he also taught me to take an interest in people and seek out their stories. He had a great sense of humor and loved “shooting the breeze” with anyone who wished to converse.

I drove to Keene Valley. I remembered when I had passed through this valley on the Saturday after the Twin Towers had collapsed after the attack on September 11. I wondered then how something so beautiful and peaceful could exist when the rest of our world was falling apart

I stopped at Noon Mark Diner, named after Noonmark Mountain. An elderly lady was looking for a table as she proclaimed to some people that her usual lunch spot wasn’t serving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that day. Like my dad would have done, I started a conversation with her by commenting on her “Adirondack Women, Forever Wild”. I had a t-shirt that said the same thing. I asked her if she wanted to join me for lunch since the waitress hadn’t come yet, and I thought that maybe two of us would be easier for her to notice.

We compared our Adirondack experiences. I had climbed eight of the High Peaks, and she had climbed twenty-seven of them. Her name was Elizabeth Clark Eldridge, “Betty” for short, and her family had founded The North Country School, a prestigious progressive private boarding school attended by kids from all over the world. In fact, she had become friends with one of its famous alumni, Peter Wilcox, the Greenpeace captain and environmental activist. She sailed with him on several excursions and was the ship’s cook. She was proud to say that Peter always corrected her by calling her “The Greenpeace Chef”. Betty was joyous, kind, and a fascinating person.. We are going to be pen pals, and it all started with a passing word about her T-shirt.

I went swimming in The Ausable River! In Jay, by the old covered bridge, are lovely grey rocks that allow the Ausable River to jump and laugh and dance. I went there, hair tied back, wearing my ugly black cover-up, and swam in my bathing suit in a quiet pool, unashamed of what I looked like as the younger swimmers dove and slid with daredevil enthusiasm. I’m sure I got as much joy out of the experience as they did, maybe even more.

I finally visited the John Brown historic site. In my fireside readings about slavery, of course, this famous abolitionist was mentioned. Like many Americans who are inadequately taught history, I had not paid attention to this man’s homestead and eventual resting place in Lake Placid. He was a remarkable individual, a man who refused to tolerate the injustices of his time and sought to address them.

I was carrying my copy of The Half Has Never Been Told, the book about American slavery, as I walked around the grounds. A woman stopped to talk to me. I think she heard me tell the site ranger that I would be touring The South and writing about it on my blog. Her name was Marsha Southgate, and I later found out she was a published author. But what was important to her was that I knew about her mom, who in 2002 walked through Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, and Canada to retrace the steps of history. I have since ordered the book her mom wrote, In Their Path: A Grandmother’s 519-Mile Underground Railroad Walk. Mrs. Joan Southgate also helped establish Restore Cleveland Hope, an education center dedicated to the anti-slavery and Underground Railroad history of the area. What a remarkable coincidence to become connected to these two women.

I stopped at the iron bridge to remember Sharon. Sharon taught Bonnie and me how to fly fish on the Ausable River. The two of us came to the iron bridge after Sharon died to recognize her spirit, to thank her for all she had taught us, and to say “goodbye”.

I observed the first goldenrod of the summer. For my children and me, these yellow flowers always seemed to announce that school would be starting soon and summer was almost done. I’m retired from teaching now, and my kids are grown. The message of the goldenrod is now different but in many ways more intense. These flowers seemed to be telling me to live these days of sunshine and warmth to the fullest, warning me not to take them for granted.

So that’s some of what I did for six days without a hotel bed and only a camp stove to cook on. I connected with my friends, the trees, and the rest of nature. How could I be alone when I am a part of them and they are a part of me? They have taught me to look around and see the significance of even the most minor parts of our existence. They have opened my heart and mind to other human beings, showing me that I’m connected to them, too. Thank you, trees. Thanks, Dad.

Copyright 2019 @theautonomoustraveler.com All rights reserved.

5 thoughts on “My Imaginary (and Real) Friends

  1. Mary G's avatar Mary G

    Enjoyed the article and the pictures. I recommend reading “Spying on the South” by Tony Horwitz as part of your prep for touring the South. Enjoy, Mary

    Like

  2. Kathleen Coolidge's avatar Kathleen Coolidge

    On Wed, Aug 7, 2019 at 5:27 PM The Autonomous Traveler wrote:

    > The Autonomous Traveler posted: ” Because of family dynamics and the fact > that I was very shy, I spent a lot of time alone when I was growing up. But > life is about adaptability and I came to enjoy my own company. I always > found things to do, to see , to ponder. When my life became too” >

    Like

  3. shelbeeontheedge1's avatar shelbeeontheedge1

    Joyce, I am so inspired by you! I just said this to my husband…and to think I was terrified this past summer about going solo to a bluegrass festival 4 hours from home. I was all nervous about setting up my campsite alone and all of the other things that go with it. But I make friends easily (and was even meeting friends at the festival). I had one girlfriend help me set up my tent since it was my first time and I had forgotten everything my husband taught me the week before! And then my tent got flooded in a massive storm and I ended up sleeping in one of the band’s vans! But all of it made for a great story and I had the time of my life. And I am getting very comfortable with traveling solo and enjoying every minute of it!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Autonomous Traveler's avatar The Autonomous Traveler

      You inspire people,Girl! We are all inspired by people who go beyond the norm and stretch themselves beyond those awful voices in their souls that try to hold them back. We need to tell the stories of bravery and let others know what is possible.

      Like

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