July 19, 2001
Insight Inventory (Major Ones from This Trip So Far)
(1) I have charisma. I know this is kind of a conceited proclamation and anyone reading this journal in the future will have to excuse me but this is a journey of self discovery. People seem to like me and want to talk to me. Not people caught up in images. I have to stop worrying about being rejected by plastic people (and make sure never to become a plastic person myself). I hope I never develop into someone who can’t see souls. I don’t want to be a tribal person who clusters together with others so I can exclude and make fun of others. This insight is important to me. I was very shy growing up and after my divorce lost any confidence I did have. I would go out into the world, talk to people and then go home and critique myself. I would always berate myself for the stupid things I said and my social awkwardness. I am not going to do that anymore.
(2) The greatest social movements of our time were nonviolent acts by people possessing great faith, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Pope John Paul. Faith is an energizer that propels people to accomplish extraordinary things.
(3) What do we do about the poor? Is it right for me to have material things when others don’t? Is it hypocritical to say I care when I’m really not willing to share all that I have? Maybe giving back doesn’t have to be about things. Maybe I can give back in other ways, listening, sharing wisdom, writing, just smiling and saying “hello”. Or I can simply ask people how they are and if they have a problem, ask how can I help.
The Autonomous Traveler 
You are so right a life changing change such as a divorce shakes a person’s belief system. I too took divorce very hard despite the fact that I was the one wanting out of the marriage. It forces a person to reconsiders what is truly important in their life and to take the steps to realize it. The road to transition though is often vacillating from self doubts, goal reaffirmation, reconsideration, wonder at any small achievements… in the end it was all worth it. After so many years living companion less (husband/boy friend) I find myself loving my life, my family that I don’t see nearly as much as I would love to and my circle of friends who sustain me even in my few blue days. I have faith and Life is Good!
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Life is good! We survived and we thrive!
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Too travel the West reliving what you learned about the wild west as a child in school or what you may have taught your students as a teacher. Traveling 44 miles of nothingness thinking of years gone by and the events that may have happened along that dusty road. A movement to the right made you think of circled wagons being attacked by Indians, guns blazing, arrows flying and children crying. Down the road, dust blowing off plains thinking a herd of of wild horses but the movement turned out to be tumbleweed blowing across the road. Then the new characters of the new West keep showing up as the trip continues.
Zeus
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Thank you for this well written input. Wonderful thoughts.
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