July 12, 2001
I went to The Little Big Horn National Park today. I love the talks at The National Parks, the rangers really know their stuff and do great presentations. What I carried away today was how these Native Americans prepared spiritually for battle. Using a mirror they would carefully apply their warpaint in such a way to enhance their confidence, pride, and strength. As they looked into the mirror they willed a good day, one of action and positive results. When they went to fight they wore their best clothes and focused their minds on victory instead of fear or death. Their attitude was their greatest weapon.
I try to take in as much as I can and when I returned to my campsite I was very tired. I ate dinner, and read until dark. In the glow of my Coleman lantern, I’m sheltered from the darkness. In my cocoon of light, I can’t see the rest of the world and I don’t care if the world sees me. I’m in my own little world, a creature of the light. It defines me and holds me safe in its warmth.
It’s funny that I’m not really afraid of the dark. So many times I have walked down my country road at night from, my neighbor, Leona’s house and back to my own home. Is not being afraid of the dark a prerequisite for being free and being able to travel alone?
Here within the slower tempo of this trip, I have time to think and question myself. I seem to have the strength and courage for big things but am I brave enough to handle everyday conflicts and disagreements? Have I really learned to effectively stand up for myself? I have fifty more days to figure it out.
Good night, Light. Good night, Darkness.